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Friday, December 30, 2011


Ladies and gentlemen, we have been humbled by another guest writer. Kevin S the Magnificent, the Buddy Ol' Pal, the Brilliant, has decided to grace our blog with his presence. And now, the message from His Royal Nerdness:

Please allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Kevin. I am a mutual friend of Alex, Annabel, Boy, and even Christopher.

And I don't even know how. Alex and I tried to explain it to someone one time, but afterward we just decided "Craigslist" was easier.

Alex was half-price in the "books for sale" section. Annabel was in "motorcycles". I think Boy had just gotten lost on his way to Ask Jeeves.

Once I saw Alex, Annabel, and Boy all in the same place, at the same time. Allow me to explain this phenomenon the only way I know how: using particle physics.

Quarks are these things smaller than protons, which are smaller than atoms, which are smaller than a loaf of bread (most of them, at least). And they come in categories called "flavors". ...because physicists' creativity far outstrips biologists' creativity (I say again: "spliceosomes"?). One of these flavors is called "strange".

That was the flavor of the aforementioned situation.

The reason I said "a loaf of bread" earlier is because I don't know how to pluralize the word "loaf". Is it "loaves"? That doesn't jive right with me, but I feel like it's right. In fact I'm 97.6% certain it is right. But that doesn't make for a very good story.

We went ice skating. Me and Boy and Annabel and Alex, I mean, not the loafs [sic] of bread. I use the term "skating" rather liberally, though. I would say that what Boy did was more along the lines of ice scooting. Anyway, we went ice somethinging downtown, and it was very enjoyable, especially because both Annabel and Alex were dressed identically in TARDIS dresses.

Did I not mention that bit? A TARDIS is a phone box that travels in time and some other things such as space, and I also don't know how to pluralize it. "TARDISes" bothers me on a strangely fundamental level.

So yeah, earlier, they had made identical TARDIS dresses in my dorm room. I probably should've mentioned that at the top. Coincidentally, "top" is another flavor of quark.

They came into my room, admired it as having attributes like "being able to see the floor" and "having a ukulele hanging from the wall". They then promptly began planning to construct their Halloween costumes, while removing their component parts from a bag that I'm pretty sure I didn't notice them bringing in. Sooner rather than later, I was awkwardly waiting outside my own room while they got changed in it.

To answer your un-asked question: My roommate is largely a myth.

Soon, after discussion, duct taping, Sharpie-ing, and an acoustic uke cover of the popular ballad "Friday" by voice of our generation Rebecca Black, we were on our way to pick up Boy from the train station.

He was a bit confused.

I was sympathetic to this emotion.

Even earlier, before Boy and the TARDII [sic] had come into the picture, we went duct taping. By which I mean Alex and Annabel went duct taping. By which I mean mostly just Alex wrote things on duct tape and stuck it random places. It was buckets of fun.

Then we went back to my dorm so they could make TARDIS dresses.

Did I mention that this is the first time I had met Annabel? We'd known each other for awhile, but she stepped off the bus at about 2:15 pm and I met her for the first time.

The spacetime continuum can make one's head spin.

I saw Memento not too long ago.

The other four flavors of quark are Bottom, Up, Down, and Charm.

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